I was in college having a conversation with a student who lived down the hall from me the first time I remember God nudging me to ask a specific question.  The other student chatted for a while when he mentioned that he’d heard that I was a Religion and Philosophy major.  He asked which I emphasized, Religion or Philosophy?  I told him the degree required certain classes in each discipline so he refined his question and asked me if I was a person who went to church.  I told him I was and then he told me he was atheist.  We spoke for a few moments about religion and science and the Bible when out of my mouth came the words I did not formulate: tell me about the God you don't believe in.

He looked at me like I had three eyes, probably wondering what sort of trap I had just set.  I tried to make it less of a risk for him and said "I'm just curious what God it is you don't believe exists."  He said "none of them" and I said "that makes sense for an atheist, but I was really interested in the basis of your conviction?" He said something about science and proof and fact and the absurdities and conflicts in the Bible. I followed up with "so you're specifically talking about the God of the Hebrews?" And he said "mostly The Christian God."  

At this point I returned to the original question "so what's this Christian God like that you don't believe in?"  And a lot of terrible stuff came tumbling out of his mouth and heart.  I could feel some hurt that was only thinly veiled in his words.  Clearly he had experienced people who claimed faith as mean-spirited, judgmental, hypocritical, even abusive.  He had grown up in a family that attended a church, but it seemed that there was a disconnect between what happened Sunday mornings and the rest of the week, he spoke of a youth group that was the "in" crowd and he didn't experience any welcome.  When he finally stopped and looked at me, I said "I don't believe in that God either." There was an immediate difference I could sense in his posture toward me.  A wall went down.  

I said that I think he described the way some people who call themselves Christian behave, but not the God I knew.

Sometimes, perhaps all too frequently, those who make claims of knowing who God is, aren't themselves good at bearing witness to God. 
We say God is love but do not demonstrate love. We say God forgives, but we are quick to point out the shortcomings of others. We say God provides peace, but are filled with fears. We say God is generous, but are ourselves stingy. We say God blesses, but we are critical and judgmental. We claim God enriches, but we are joyless. 
So is God who we say God is or is God who we demonstrate God is? The distance between these two is the fertile field in which many hearts are sown with falsehoods about God.

I wrote the following a couple of years ago in my journal:

Knowing God exists is beyond empirical evidence. Two people, one a believer and the other an atheist, can assemble equally valid arguments in support of their perspective, but each must make a leap of faith to their respective beliefs. I know this because I've had such conversations. Considering this and speaking from a perspective of faith, it makes sense to me that I live to reveal God as I understand God--as gracious, loving, merciful, just, holy. What does it say about God if I behave in ways that diminish others because of who they are or how they live; or if I do not live as if creation itself is a work of God's hands? I might as well enter the Louvre with a hammer and blowtorch and begin destroying the priceless art of masters. This attitude of generosity must apply to all for it to be worthy of representing God--therefore it must extend even to those who disagree with me and represent the antithesis of my beliefs.
 The way I live in the world and treat others is a far greater statement of my theology than volumes of systematic doctrine or biblical commentary. 

If someone watched you for a week knowing you were a Christian, what would they assume Christianity is about based on what they observed? 

© Stephen Carl