The measure of my receiving grace is disclosed in the
measure of grace I extend. This is a conundrum since grace covers me
even, or perhaps especially, when I am not gracious, and in the same
grace-event I am liberated to be more generous with grace.
Grace is not for those who want to bear a grudge or
hold onto a resentment or hold someone accountable for a wrong-doing, for grace
will not permit such things. It isn't a legalistic prohibition of such dark matters of the heart, instead it gently, yet powerfully removes the splinter of anger and bitterness, removing the source of infection. It is the only cure for a sin-sick soul. It defeats blame and judgment and
self-righteousness and leaves one naked and vulnerable to love. Sometimes this is an immediate occurrence, sometimes it takes years. One might
imagine responding with anger and indignation if a resentment is removed
without some retribution, but grace causes these to be transformed from venom
to healing ointment, from poison to an elixir.
It is inexplicable and to witness it in my life and
the lives of others is proof to me of a divine source. Grace is not
evolutionarily necessary, it is not in our DNA. It is not about survival, but
surrender. And yet when I breathe in grace my cells recognize it and release all the toxins of
anxiety that accumulate in my mind, letting grace fill my chest and
enter my heart and course through my veins and fire with my synapses.
Though the measure of me receiving grace is disclosed in the grace I extend
or withhold, this is not a means of measuring grace in another. It is
only within the furnace of one's own heart that such a measurement can be
taken. And like Daniel’s friends in Nebuchadnezzar’s furnace, in
the flames of our conscience we can see only One other standing there with us
who prevents us from burning up in the fire of guilt and conviction. That One does not shake a finger shaming us. Instead that One stands with arms open ready to embrace us.
So if we pray for grace, then it is a prayer to be released from not only
our own sin and brokenness, but also the judgments we hold against others. Therefore, praying for grace is never praying
for it only for ourselves, but for everyone else too.
© Stephen Carl
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