I was listening to an interview about life lists not long ago.  Some people call these their Bucket List, like the movie with the same title from a  few years ago.  After listening to the interview I explored on the internet what some people put on their “life lists.”  In reading them I was inspired, but I was also amazed at some of the things I’ve done in my life that I would not have imagined I would ever do. 

The one that came to mind immediately was paddling a canoe down a very wide and lazy river in Florida.  I’ve canoed a lot in my life.  As a boy and young adult I spent more summer days in a canoe on a river than I can count.  And there was a time in the late 1990's that I canoed down a river with a physician on New Years Day in Arkansas.  The river was frozen in some places and we had to wear wet suits and several layers to keep warm.  That was an interesting way to start the year.  But my canoe trip in Florida still stands out. 

For one thing the canoe was wooden and old.  In addition it had very rounded or severe V shaped hull.  That meant it felt very unstable.  It tipped back and forth quite easily.  My paddling buddy assured me that I would get used to it.  And he was right.  Getting in and out of the boat was, of course, the worst.  But we set off and started down river. 

It appeared that it was going to be another day paddling a canoe.  That is, until I saw the first alligator.  It wasn’t that big—maybe four feet in length—but it was swimming straight across the river and it appeared that our canoe and it were going to intersect. 

I said something out loud and my paddling buddy (who had paddled on this river numerous times) assured me again that it wouldn’t bother us.  "In fact," he said, “it thinks we’re huge.”  He explained that to an alligator skimming the surface of the water, a canoe with people in it, sticks out of the water so much that they think we’re much more frightening to it, than it is to us. 

Okay, the information entered my head, but my heart was still racing as I thought of all the videos I'd seen of alligators and crocodiles snatching large animals along the banks of a river and dragging them into the water thrashing.  And then the alligator disappeared.  It went beneath the surface of the water.  “Where did it go?” I asked with minor trepidation.  “It’s probably swimming beneath us.”  I eased my head over the edge of the canoe and stared into the murky water.  I saw nothing, but a moment later the alligator surfaced on the other side of the canoe and continued in the same direction. 

As we paddled on, I lost count of the number of alligators we saw.  At one point I counted over a dozen that I could see at once. In our conversation about the alligators my paddling buddy assured me that the far greater danger were the poisonous snakes.  And where are they? I asked.  Oh, they stay along the edge and in the shallower areas.  I breathed a sigh of relief.

Toward the end of our tour, my paddling buddy decided we would take a short cut.  It was a narrow (about three feet wide) side stream that cut through some of the tall grass.  It was more swamp-like than anything else.  We got far enough along so that when we got stuck, turning around was not an option. 

Since my paddling buddy was in the stern and he was easily forty years older than I was (I was forty-one at the time), I got out and pulled the canoe through the marshy waters.  It wasn’t long before I realized that I couldn’t really tell if there were alligators in the grass around us.  And then I thought that this little stream is probably just what the poisonous snakes prefer. 

In the end we made it out and finished our little trip.  In fact, there was the largest alligator I saw that day waiting along the banks sunning itself just 100 feet from where we took out.  My friend estimated it to be over 12 feet long.  All I know is that it’s mouth was big.  Growing up canoeing in Oklahoma, this adventure wasn’t something I ever thought I’d do.  I was glad that if I ever had such an ambition that I could mark it off the list as having been done. 

Fears are serious impediments to living a full life.  I suspect that the fears most of us face are more imaginary than real—like the way my paddling partner described how we appeared to the alligators—do your fears appear far larger to you than they really are? 

Clearly, fear is an important physiological response our bodies have to danger.  But when fear snakes its way into our thinking it can wrap itself tightly around our ambitions, motivations and creativity.  So it shouldn’t be surprising that one of the most common commands in the Bible is “do not fear.” Fear robs us of the opportunities that we are created to enjoy and experience.  What's on your life list?

© Stephen Carl